


agapē (kaoru x reader)

by ronnie_ao3



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Agape, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Confusion, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Feelings Realization, Kaoru For The Win, Love Me Some Kaoru, Meeting Again, Old Friends, Sweet Kaoru, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, finding each other, old schoolmates, reconnecting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24395254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronnie_ao3/pseuds/ronnie_ao3
Summary: Agapē: the highest form of love or charity; a pure, unconditional love. Back in elementary school, the reader was good friends with the Hitachiins, and always got along splendidly with Kaoru. Losing contact in middle school proved to be a substantial blow to their relationship, but can Kaoru and the reader find their way back to each other?
Relationships: Hitachiin Kaoru/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 69





	1. the orange bookmark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who would have thought an orange bookmark, made and gifted by a zealous kindergartner so many years ago, could bring everything flooding back ~ ?

_'Where on Earth could I have left it?'_

Your eyes searched your room, trying to revive some memory of where you could possibly have stashed such an important treasure so long ago.

It's not like anyone would have actively sought it out and stolen it, it wasn't anything that valuable.

A smile broke across your face when you finally caught a glimpse of what you were looking for.

_'Jackpot!'_

It was a book, tucked away at the bottom of the bookcase, accompanied by other forgotten novels and storybooks from your childhood. They, too, hadn't been touched in years, and envied the now-chosen book leaving their company.

You slid the book out from between the others, brushing off the dust.

It was a book you hadn't read in years, and you puzzled at why you suddenly had felt the urge to find it. The story was a classic one; set in feudal times, the protagonist was a young girl born into poverty. She was a shepherd, like her father, and their lives were simple. One day, however, the son of a powerful lord rode through her hamlet, shaking up their lives forever.

It was love at first sight. He was nothing short of enamored with the shepherd girl, and she the same with him. Unfortunately, their difference in status was too great for them to pursue any kind of relationship other than serf and aristocrat, and they were forced apart by the powerful lord. Their solution: to elope.

Just your typical story of star-crossed lovers. She had easily perused the pages hundreds of times, as a kid. It was her favorite, and seeing it kicked up memories she hadn't thought were still there.

Turning it over in you hands, you gave the cover a once-over. Residual dust cast over the illustration, but a shaded castle was depicted clearly, a few sheep dispersed in the foreground. A small piece of orange paper stuck out from the top ever so slightly, and you narrowed your eyes at it.

'Is this...?'

You quickly opened the book up to the indicated page, gasping as you did so.

It wasn't the particular page that caught you by surprise, it was the nature of the orange bookmark. Scrawled across the paper were the words, "Kaoru"; the letters were a bit messy, the proportions slightly off and traced in crayon shades of blue, green, red, and black.

 _'Kaoru Hitachiin.'_ You thought to herself, a smile breaking across your face. You remembered going to the same elementary school with Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, clear as day. They were identical twins, and while it had been hard to tell them apart at some times, you had always jived better with Kaoru.

_'That's how I was able to tell them apart, when no one else could.'_

It was true. Hikaru was more difficult to play with, so if you happened to be getting along with the particular orange-haired twin you were playing with, it was likely Kaoru.

Granted, all kids were hard to play with; it wasn't easy to share at that age. It was also a feeling that told you who was who, and as a result, you rarely mixed them up.

The three of you were good friends in earlier grades, always choosing to play with each other at recess. The occasional spat would split the two parties, but for the most part, things were easy and you all enjoyed each other's company.

As your trio got older, however, and societal pressures kicked in, you and the twins didn't play together as much. You ended up attending different middle schools, and though all of you entered Ouran's high school as first years, the large gap of time in between didn't make a re-connection easy in the slightest, so it just never happened.

There was no malice, of course, it was just how life had worked out.

You shuffled over to your bed, sitting lightly on the airy duvet. The book lay forgotten on the floor.

The orange bookmark was still clutched in your hand, but your thoughts were swimming with the issues of now, rather than memories of elementary school.

The Hitachiins had joined a club at Ouran.

 _'A hot-pot club? No.'_ You screwed up her face in the effort to remember.

 _'A hockey club?'_ The thought of the twins rushing around with hockey sticks made you laugh.

_'Definitely not...Oh, wait! It's a host club.'_

It was sort of interesting how the twins joined a club designed solely to entertain women.

Your friends frequented the club often, but because it was held during after-school hours, you hadn't yet had the opportunity to accompany them. Studying and productive extra-curricular activities were more of a priority than school clubs, in your household.

 _'It could be fun to see what the Host Club's all about, though'_ , You thought to yourself.

Perhaps you could even say hello to the Hitachiin twins, start up a dialogue.

You laid back on her spacious bed. The covers puffed up around your frame, and then settled.

On the other hand, it seemed rather ridiculous to charge in and say hello to a couple of friends from elementary school; it would be embarrassing if the twins had no clue who you were. Pursing your lips, you weighed the pros and cons of each course of action.

Geometry was much more reliable than the Hitachiins, you finally decided. When they were together, the twins could really be a pair of loose cannons, and the last thing you wanted was to be dragged into a dramatic, unwanted scene in front of a club full of people.

Besides, you needed top grades to keep her scholarship. It was the only way you could stay at Ouran and get a higher education.

That's not to say your family were poor by any standard, they just weren't aristocracy, especially not compared to the rest of the Ouran community. But your house was decent-sized, and your parents even employed a car to take you to and from school (mostly because your dad left for work extremely early in the mornings, and your mom typically had back-to-back virtual business meetings from her office at home)

The pair led a prime example for you, constantly working hard to be successful and provide for you. It gave you a sense of gratefulness many Ouran students seemed to lack, and you'd been a hard worker all your life, as a result.

 _'Geometry is more important than frolicking around with my friends at a host club.'_ You thought to yourself, reaffirming her prior decision. It wasn't easy to stick to the books all the time, and this wouldn't be the first time you'd missed a social event because of it.

Remembering that Kaoru's bookmark was still in you hand, you unconsciously felt along the edge of the construction paper blindly.

A sharp pain caused you to wince, and you cursed yourself for being so thoughtless.

Sitting up, you calmly studied the damage.

Paper cut.

A drop of blood oozed out of the inflicted area. You sighed in exasperation at your prior actions, standing up and waltzing across the room, through the open doorway; off in search of a bandage.

The orange bookmark was left abandoned on your bed, a bright splotch against the white duvet.

\------

The next day rolled around very quickly, and before you knew it, You were in Class 1-A. Business as usual.

Naturally, your friends gushed over their plans to visit the Host Club that day. They'd been going since the beginning of the year, and had their own personal favorites. Thankfully, none of them favored the Hitachiin brothers; You didn't think you could deal with any of her friends mooning over those two and their notorious 'brotherly love' act.

Homeroom had begun, and you pulled out your geometry textbook. After your friends begged you to come with them to the Host Club, you figured you'd at least try to get your work done early to appease them.

You had also caved because your curiosity had grown since the previous day. Going up and talking to the twins in class was a little intimidating, you weren't going to lie.

But, as embarrassing as it was to 'request' someone at a club, it would be neat to see how they were doing, what they were up to. A face-saving solution.

You heard the Hitachiins cracking jokes a few seats behind her, not an unusual event. However, you didn't dare look back. Call it fear of the unknown, if you will.

If you refrained from looking back, there would be no accidental meeting of the eyes, and you wouldn't suddenly exist within their world. That was the logic, and it seemed sound enough. Avoiding the Hitachiins outright might be a chicken approach, but you'd been doing it all year and it was still working like a charm. Can't think about what you don't notice, right?

You weren't even sure what you were afraid of; hearing how much the twins had changed since they were little was daunting, to say the least. Their previously warm and inviting personalities had turned a full three-sixty, according to everyone else.

Only recently had they grown close with Haruhi Fujioka, who was also part of the club and seemed really nice. A couple of your friends enjoyed requesting him when they attended.

You had noticed that Hikaru, in particular, looked at Haruhi in a way other than a friend would. Sometimes, you wondered if there was anything additional going on there; asking Hikaru about that outright wouldn't be very savvy, though. The boy was, to this day, blithely unaware of his own feelings.

A small part of you hoped that Kaoru was the same way he always was; you always hated comparing him to his brother, but he truly was more mature. Even as a small child, he could communicate far better than Hikaru, who would throw tantrums at the drop of a hat.

It was hard to tell if Kaoru had changed since you last were friends, which made up a huge part of your fear. This particular unknown factor was what swayed the majority of your decisions when it came to the Hitachiins.

You sighed, turning the page of your geometry book. Frankly, you were already good at math, this was just additional studying for the class's upcoming test.

The real problem you were having was your social studies class.

But you didn't really want to think about that right now; you'd deal with it eventually, but for now, geometry was the preferred mode of procrastination.

You narrowed your eyes and blinked, having found a useful tidbit of information within the sea of words and paragraphs. Taking your orange highlighter, you swiped it lightly across a bold vocabulary term, allowing the bright ink to permeate before moving on.

Unbeknownst to you, a certain ginger-haired boy was gazing at the back of your head.

He willed you to turn around, but it wasn't happening.

It never happened, ever. You always faced the front, no matter how much willpower was employed on his part.

Kaoru frowned, and Hikaru immediately noticed his brother's change in demeanor.

"You okay?"

The addressed boy shrugged.

"I guess."

Hikaru narrowed his eyes at his twin, not believing him. After a minute, Kaoru spoke again, his eyes still locked on his classmate.

"It's just, that's the girl we used to be friends with - Y/N."

"So? We're not friends now."

Kaoru shook his head.

"That's not it."

Hikaru seemed exasperated by this point, bored with the topic.

"Then what is it, Kaoru?"

Taking a deep breath, the younger Hitachiin twin said carefully,

"I think I like her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, I can't wait for you to see what happens next :D 
> 
> ~ If you enjoyed reading and feel up to it, leave a nice comment below! Your words make me so happy ~ !


	2. the purple crayon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru admits to Hikaru his true feelings for the reader, but can Hikaru handle that kind of emotional burden? The answer is no, and a hard no at that ~

"You...like her?"

Hikaru looked dumbfounded. The news that his brother had a crush was shocking, to say the least.

The two of them had always relied on each other, and any crushes they had on their classmates were normally kept to themselves or quickly stifled.

Kaoru nodded, knowing Hikaru wouldn't understand. His brother was still trying to figure out his feelings towards Haruhi, and Kaoru would bet that a lot of explosive emotions would emerge before Hikaru ever expressed them to her. If the older twin would manage confessing his love without lashing out violently, he might have a chance.

He'd learn, eventually.

It might have been foolish of him to say anything at all, he should've just brushed it off and said he was tired. On the other hand, Hikaru would have to know sometime. It was true that you had been in his thoughts for a long time, from the time they were kids.

Seeing you at Ouran Academy on the first day of school made Kaoru's heart nearly leap out of his chest; but you never came up to say hello.

Had you forgotten about him - ah, them? They played together as children, and would even talk a bit as they progressed further through elementary school.

It pained him to think that after everything, you'd forgotten him - no, them. It was moments like this that made Kaoru despise being a twin, and he scowled at his geometry textbook. As though they were some package-deal, an entity that always had to be referred to as 'they'. It suddenly felt confining.

Kaoru let out a frustrated sigh.

Hikaru momentarily blinked at him, incredulous.

"Why?", was all he could finally muster in light of his confusion.

Kaoru liked someone? His brain just couldn't process it. Kaoru shrugged, looking over to challenge his brother's gaze.

"I just do. I always have. She's special to me, okay?"

The older twin appeared as though his soul left his bodily temporarily. A girl was special to Kaoru? But what about him? What did this mean for the two of them?!

It took a minute for his soul to return, but when it did, Hikaru flushed angrily, likely about to say something he'd regret.

"You know, you're pretty pathetic, Kaoru. You must be going soft or something, having a crush like this. I just hope you two have a nice life."

Kaoru looked at his brother, heart sinking.

"Hikaru, you're being ridiculous."

At that remark, the angry Hitachiin suddenly stood, slamming his hands on his desk. This effectively got everyone's attention, but Hikaru just glared at all the staring faces before storming out of the classroom..

The class murmured, intrigued at the idea of another Hitachiin brawl going down over the next few days.

You, however, also jolted by the sudden commotion, didn't murmur along with your friends. You just looked back at Kaoru, concern reflecting in your warm eyes.

He took in a quick breath, suddenly feeling his heartbeat quicken. You were finally looking at him.

Under different circumstances, Kaoru would have been thoroughly happy with your eye contact. His brother was being a prick, and it was because of his crush on you. And sure, Hikaru had his dramatic moments, but Kaoru was a little worried this tiff would become a full-blown feud if it wasn't resolved quickly.

And really, it was uplifting that you seemed worried for him, but for all Kaoru knew, you were looking into the face of a stranger; there could be absolutely no recognition for you, no connecting of the dots that brought him to life in your eyes, and the thought of that horrible disjunction pierced him like an ice pick.

For all he knew, he was another blank face.

He hoped he was wrong.

\---

Kaoru didn't expect Hikaru to show up to club hours, but decided to show anyway. Better than sitting in his room, pointedly ignoring Hikaru, who would no doubt be in his own room (for once), deliberately giving Kaoru the silent treatment. His mind was weighed down plenty already, thoughts of you clouding his mind and distracting him from the events of today.

He hardly paid attention as he strolled down the hall to Music Room No. 3, hands jammed in his pockets, a look of deep concentration on his face.

A few passers-by gawked at him, in awe that he was away from his ginger-haired partner-in-crime.

Haruhi was waiting for him, and the moment he walked through the double-doors, she approached. There was an almost motherly look on her face, and an air of concern followed her as she came closer, darkening the space around her.

"Kaoru, is everything alright? What was that back there?"

He smiled. She could always tell who was who. He had even switched his part before entering the music room, in the attempt of tripping her up.

Sighing in fake exasperation, he took a minute to fix his hair.

That was one thing he distinctly recalled about you. You had this uncanny ability to differentiate him and Hikaru, no matter what they looked like or did to mix you up. It was liberating, in a sense, knowing that you would pick him over and over again, without fail, every single time.

Perhaps it was merely his selfish younger imagination, but all those years ago, he really, truly, felt that you liked him better than Hikaru. Maybe it was a narcissistic hallucination, a childish fantasy, but whenever he was with you, he felt heard and appreciated, never mistaken for his twin in the slightest.

With her, he wasn't a nameless, orange-haired half of a set of two; he was Kaoru Hitachiin, and you made him feel like an individual. It was part of why he maintained a glowing torch for you all these years. You were strange, and special to him.

"...Kaoru?"

Said boy looked up, realizing he had been in his thoughts for quite a while. He flushed, as though caught red-handed doing something he shouldn't have.

"Sorry, Haruhi. Everything's...well, Hikaru got angry when I said that I..."

Kaoru paused a moment, pondering whether or not he should divulge such an intimate secret to her. Apart from Hikaru, he'd not told anyone in his life about his feelings for you.

A feeling of resolve coursed through him. He could tell Haruhi, she was trust-worthy and dependable. Her brown eyes seemed vast and all-encompassing in that moment, just waiting for him to lay whatever was ailing him on her.

"...you see, I have a thing for this girl in our class. We used to be friends, but...I don't think she remembers me."

The boyishly-dressed girl nodded sagely at him, a hint of surprise lacing her expression. She stayed quiet for a minute or two, and Kaoru grew nervous. Finally, she spoke.

"You know, I do think it'd be pretty difficult to forget you, Kaoru. I'm sure she knows exactly who you are." Her voice was certain, and honest. Good old Haruhi.

A small smile crossed Kaoru's face, and he nodded. Her words only made him more hopeful, but it was highly possible that you had truly forgotten him. Even if you did vaguely recognize him as a classmate from elementary school, that didn't necessarily mean that you remembered all of your fun times playing in the sand or up on the monkey bars. Not like he did.

Memories fade with time, he reminded himself.

The only reason his visions of you were clear as day was because he had a special place in his heart with you name on it. Kaoru could seriously say that falling for you was one of those events that he didn't decide on himself, it happened all on its own over weeks and then months of parallel play, which eventually transformed into playing together.

Even as a child, he was completely infatuated.

Completely, and totally, infatuated.

He still remembered the day you met; you were both very young, not quite in kindergarten.

Chuckling, Kaoru remembered he and Hikaru sitting at the broad, oak table nestled in the corner of their classroom, scribbling incoherent gibberish and messy drawings onto construction paper. They were usually alone, not that it bothered them.

All of a sudden, another child plopped herself down on the stool next to them, at Hikaru's side. She had a scraggly mop of hair, a purple shirt with an orange flower on it, and no shoes.

Kaoru laughed to himself, remembering how disheveled you used to look. Always a mess, but it made him laugh even then. Always so original, unintentionally.

You chirped, "I'm gonna draw a hippopotamus! Can you please pass me the purple crayon?"

Stunned, the twins gave each other an incredulous look. You gave them an expectant huff, and Kaoru gave in, handing you the requested crayon.

The radiant grin you gave him in that moment caused butterflies to flutter aggressively in that 5-year-old's stomach.

He could do nothing but stare.

\-----

The years they spent at different middle schools didn't make a difference for him; sure, he became more reclusive at the absence of his friend and crush, but he knew he would carry his feelings for you with him for a long, long time.

You were truly the first person to strike a chord in his heart, as guarded as it was for years. If Kaoru was being honest with himself, going to different middle schools felt like a betrayal of some kind. He felt abandoned, to say the least, by you.

That trust, that was so slow to build, seemed to give way to neglect and crumble.

The only other person he could compare that feeling of betrayal to was he and Hikaru's prior nanny, the one that they liked the most, the one that used them to get to their family's money, the one that left them behind when they needed her. For both of them, it was a pivotal moment, and a realization that people, any people, couldn't be trusted. That moment could arguably be the point at which the twins declared their exit from society.

Kaoru wanted to believe that you were different, that it wasn't your fault you attended a different middle school, that you missed him just as much as he missed you, that maybe, possibly, you would run into each other at some function or hootenanny and you would see him, _really_ see him.

But it was hard to put that kind of faith in someone, and he chalked all of it up to wishful thinking when you didn't say hello that first day of high school.

Kaoru scoffed at the emptiness around him.

He was supposed to have been studying at his desk, but he had spaced out again, thinking about her. That was something he'd rather do than study for geometry; plus, Hikaru was the one who was good at math, not him.

The younger Hitachiin wasn't looking forward to begging his twin to help him with the subject, who would just laugh in his face and let him suffer alone. Hikaru could be a shithead when he was angry; a vindictive, petty shithead.

Kaoru suddenly heard voices coming from downstairs; they were laughing heartily, and seemed to be chatting warmly with one another. His and Hikaru's mother had been home for a few days, perhaps she was having guests. He stood up to stretch, glancing in the mirror to see if he was presentable.

Jeans, slightly wrinkled from his prior sitting position, and a white turtleneck, which was thankfully wrinkle-free. Not bad, but not great.

His socks didn't help his appearance; they were bright orange, though he supposed they matched his hair as a technical accessory. That would have to be good enough for Mother, he decided as he sidled out of his room and down the hallway to the rather grand staircase of the manor.

Resting his elbows on the railing at the top of the stairs, hands holding his face, Kaoru peered down into the living area of their house, directly below.

He instantly spotted Hikaru, speaking to a girl. Her back was to Kaoru, so he couldn't really tell who she was, but Hikaru appeared to be talking animatedly; though Kaoru spotted a twinkle in his twin's eye, a malicious one, for that matter.

Disappointing, really. He still hadn't grown up. After meeting Haruhi, Kaoru figured Hikaru would have gotten farther along in his journey to maturity by now.

Poor girl, Kaoru thought as he gazed at the back of her head, she wouldn't even see it coming. His twin would knock her flat (emotionally, of course) at the first opportunity. Kaoru used to help with that, as shameful as it felt to admit it now. The pair of them were pretty cruel back in middle school.

Letting his eyes wander, he saw Mother sitting on the chaise by the large sliding glass door to the outside; the pool and tennis courts were that way. A couple sat on the loveseat near her, and Kaoru couldn't help but wonder if he knew them, they looked so incredibly familiar.

They were probably middle-aged, like Mother (though she hated to admit it), and looked a tad weary. Their clothes were finely crafted, however, and they seemed to be respectable enough, appearance-wise.

Growing bored watching the party's interactions after a few minutes, with no one having looked up in that time to spot and beckon him come down from the second level, Kaoru decided it was time to take another stab at geometry. He had just begun to turn around, but his eyes caught an odd movement from Hikaru as he did so.

The ginger-haired twin had, while the girl was looking somewhere else, slipped a piece of paper in her shoulder-bag.

That wasn't normal for Hikaru, he was usually much less subtle about toying with girls' hearts. Furrowing his brow, the ginger-haired twin, still perched at the top of the stairs, wondered why his brother was acting so off-brand.

Kaoru looked closer, suddenly thinking of how familiar the girl's hair seemed to him. Where could he have known her from? Her clothes were nice, and he couldn't help but recognize that shoulder-bag from...somewhere. If only she'd turn around, perhaps he'd recognize her...

Ah, well. Kaoru let out a small sigh, turning once more.

"Kaoru! Come down and say hello to our guests. You remember the L/N's, right?"

Freezing right where he was, Kaoru's heart pounded, and not from being startled by his mother's sudden call. The L/N's? It couldn't be. You were in his house?

His eyes widened when he realized. The girl talking to Hikaru...the reason she looked so familiar...it was because Kaoru spent practically every minute of every school day staring at the back of her head...it was you.

Taking a silent deep breath, Kaoru started down the stairs; it felt like time slowed down as he descended, and everyone's eyes on him made him feel uncharacteristically self-conscious.

He was a proud person, one who called things like they were whenever possible, but he refused to make eye contact with the girl at the bottom of the stairs. He could tell your eyes were fixed on him, and so were your parents', and so were Mother's, and so were... Hikaru's.

What had he slipped in her bag? Was it a hate-note? Boiling anger rose within Kaoru at the thought of Hikaru, his own brother, bullying the girl he loved.

Reaching the final step, he greeted your parents respectfully, giving a small bow. He didn't want to face your or Hikaru right now, his feelings a jumble of incomplete concepts within him, his anger towards his brother only paralleled in magnitude by his anxiety at you not recognizing him. This was, truly, a nightmare.

Your mother stepped in helpfully, after Kaoru remained silent for a moment.

"Y/N, this is...um, Yuzuha, I apologize, I forget which one we've introduced to her."

The woman laughed breezily.

"No need to apologize, Mikoto. This is Kaoru, Hikaru's the one talking to Y/N

Across the room, you still hadn't taken your eyes off of Kaoru, and he shifted uncomfortably, his own doubts about you beating out his fury towards Hikaru, for the moment.

You nodded at him with a smile, a sign of acknowledgement.

He gulped, nodding back.

"I was just telling Y/N's parents how Kaoru's struggling in geometry. He's practically failing the class." His mother, Yuzuha, said unhelpfully. Kaoru glared at her.

"You know, Y/N excels in geometry. She could help Kaoru study for their next exam, if you like. If only she was as good at social studies as she is geometry." Her father said, ending the sentence with a stern look towards you. You grimaced. Kaoru tried to suppress the blush that crept up his neck at the thought of you tutoring him.

"Social studies is Kaoru's best subject, -" Yuzuha started. Kaoru's eyes widened at his mother's words.

"- I'm sure he would love to help Y/N out sometime!" She finished, beaming at the couple. Kaoru felt as though his soul briefly left his body. Upon its return, he glanced at Hikaru, unsurprised by the look of rage on his face. Of course he would hate Kaoru spending time with you.

Kaoru, emboldened by his brother's disapproval, suddenly piped up.

"Anytime!"

He pointedly ignored the nasty look Hikaru shot at him after he piped up. The conversation begun to die down, and the entire time Kaoru was downstairs, he could feel Hikaru's eyes on him, boring into the back of skull. He pretended not to notice, which was rather difficult.

Their parents arranged a time for you and him to meet up at your house tomorrow, in order to study for your weaker subjects. Kaoru was nervous, but determined to make something of the opportunity. This could be the time, he thought, to see if you really remember him. To see if there was something there at all.

The moment the visiting family took their leave, Kaoru rushed up to his room to look over his social studies notes, and shoved Hikaru when he tried tripping Kaoru on his way up. Shithead.

But no amount of annoying brotherly attitude could bring him down right now, he was going to spend time with you tomorrow.

His elation at finally gaining some semblance of closure overwhelmed him, and he forgot entirely about the note Hikaru had slipped you. 

And as the L/N's drove home that night, you rummaged through your bag for lip balm, pushing aside items as you delved. Finger brushed an unfamiliar edge of paper; it sliced your finger, and you gasped, pulling it out of the bag instantly. It was dark in the car, but you felt a wet warmth ooze down her finger, and knew it was blood.

Sucking on your finger, you drew out the offending paper with your other hand, using the light of your phone to illuminate it. Your eyes widened, and you scowled slightly, shoving the paper back into your bag with a scoff.

Scrawled across the paper, in bold, black pen, were the words:

_**"STAY AWAY"**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens ~


	3. the white walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commence Kaoru and the reader's study date ~ !

The next day, Kaoru seemed to have a bounce in his step.

The sky above was as clear and blue as it had ever been, but the orange-haired boy was convinced it sparkled with an additional flair he hadn't seen before. The world was lively and beautiful, and everyone he interacted with was puzzled as to what event could possibly have put the Hitachiin in such a jolly mood?

The boy was smiling, and for once, it wasn't to mirror his twin. He felt like someone different, from the moment he woke up.

Not even Hikaru's underlying, boiling malevolence could topple Kaoru off his mountain of enthusiasm: any venomous shots his brother took at him in class and at club hours bounced effortlessly off of the student, as though an impenetrable shield of optimism surrounded him.

He even laughed at the insults, further unsettling everyone around him.

"You know, it was so nice having the bed all to myself last night." Hikaru said loudly, hoping Kaoru, a few meters away at another table in Music Room #3, would hear it and fire back. To his disappointment, he was greeted with unbothered silence.

His guests certainly looked uncomfortable at the distance between the twins, and cringed at Hikaru's words. The two girls quickly said goodbye to Hikaru, scurrying out of the room to escape the discomfort of the situation.

Kaoru lazily looked over his shoulder from his table, where he sat with Haruhi (which, if nothing, added insult to injury for Hikaru).

"Come on, Hikaru, you've even scared off our guests." He didn't mean to sound smug, but he couldn't help it. He, himself, Kaoru freaking Hitachiin, had a study date with the girl of his dreams. Life couldn't get much better than that.

However, his bubble was burst when Kyoya practically stomped over to them, wielding a fury that could only be expected from the club's resident shadow king. Fixing his glasses, the black-haired Ootori scowled at the twins in annoyance.

"You two would find it well to make up soon, if one more guest is scared away by your pointless bickering, I don't know what I'll do." He growled through his fake smile, which was positively terrifying to be on the receiving end of.

Images of medieval torture and fires blazing popped up in Kaoru's eyes, and he shuddered, his mood somewhat dampened. Hikaru did the same, looking a bit scared. All the same, the older twin couldn't help but smirk inwardly at the thought of the wrench he had thrown into his brother's relationship with his crush, and how that little note would ruin his chances with the girl he liked.

And unfortunately for Kaoru, that note struck a chord in you, who had spent most of the previous night laying sleeplessly in bed, staring at the ceiling.

Why would the twins leave such an aggressive message? The spiky, black letters had seemed so violently written, as though the wrath of the writer poured all of his hate into them. At one point in the night, you rose from your bed to retrieve the letter from your book-bag, cringing at the words once more and flinging it away from you.

One horrid question burned in your mind the entire time, growing louder the longer you dwelled on the situation, bubbling beneath the surface and causing you great anxiety.

_'Was Kaoru in on it?'_

The boy you were so fond of when they were little, was he part of this? Was everything a set-up? Based on his interactions with you last night, Kaoru seemed as excited to see you as you were to see him. And when he said he'd study with you, he sounded so genuine. Even happy.

It had caused you to feel hot in your cheeks, and you were sure a blush had taken over.

But now...you just didn't know what to think. For all you knew, the twins were planning to hogtie and drag you from their limousine down the street, before throwing you in the nearby river to float aimlessly until some good Samaritan came along.

You shivered involuntarily. If Kaoru did that...well, you'd just lose all faith in the world. You just knew yourself too well; something that traumatizing, conducted by her childhood playmate, would be devastating. Your feelings for him, newly invigorated by the contact you so desperately sought for with him all these years, would be crushed entirely by such a betrayal.

That was another thing. Seeing him at his house...how nice he looked in his outfit...you didn't know he could work a turtleneck so well.

Kaoru had certainly grown since grade school, and to be frank, you weren't complaining. His new hairstyle was really attractive, a certain step up from the bowl cut he and his brother sported when they were young. While he was still lean, he had gotten so much taller, not quite towering over you, but there was still a few inches difference. 

What really got you were the socks, so bright and outlandish. You had seen his mother cringe noticeably the second her eyes landed on her son's carrot-orange socks, but you absolutely loved them.

It was sweet that Kaoru still adored the color orange, just like when you were kids. You thought of her orange bookmark, tucked away in her desk drawer, and smiled. He was the same, he must be. 

So why would he unleash such an aggressive attack?

Gritting your teeth and squeezing your eyes shut, you convinced yourself that he wouldn't do such a thing. That it was a fluke, and that he had nothing to do with it.

Sleep finally welcomed you into its outstretched arms around four in the morning, thought your dreams were plagued with illusions of the twins messing with you, laughing in your face, doing everything possible to piss you off.

After an uneasy night of restlessness, you weren't quite as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as Kaoru the next day. You looked downright exhausted, and your friends asked if you were doing alright.

Just tired, you reassured them. Long night of studying, you continued. They seemed satisfied with that, knowing how adamant you were about preparing for tests.

It was even hard to focus on filling out conversions for geometry, you found as she kept zoning out during homeroom. Shaking your head, you focused on the page and raised your mechanical pencil once more.

It would be alright, you reassured yourself. You would confront Kaoru when you met up to study, find out what was really going on. 

Losing her train of thought momentarily, you turned your head at the sound of an abnormal guffaw from the back of the room. It was just Hikaru, joking around with Haruhi loudly.

Kaoru was there, too, but it was clear he still wasn't speaking to his brother by the open textbook he had in front of him (and by the occasional verbal assault Hikaru would unleash upon his brother, in the hopes of getting a rise out of the unresponsive Hitachiin). He was silently reading, resting his chin in his hand as his eyes scanned the page.

Kaoru looked really nice, you suddenly thought to yourself, flushing. That look of concentration, the way his eyebrows were knit together to form the cute expression, the way his eyes flitted from one side of the page to the other, it all made you smile in a goofy sort of way.

Honestly, you were perfectly content with looking at Kaoru and admiring him, until those warm eyes of his snapped from the page and up to bore into yours. Your breath hitched in your throat, and you just about burst into a flaming ball of embarrassment and shame at being caught.

Kaoru had felt your stare long before he looked up to meet it. People just know when they're being watched, and Kaoru was used to intense gawking from he and Hikaru's 'brotherly love fanclub'. But this experience felt entirely different, he realized, it didn't hold the same element of violation he was used to from the other girls.

When Kaoru looked up to challenge your gaze, he nearly did a double take, because the gaze felt intimate and somehow shared between them. He...liked the feeling, looking into your eyes.

He held back a laugh when he saw how flustered you got, and his heart pounded when you smiled sheepishly at him, and was utterly crestfallen when you turned back around in your chair to face the front. You really were charming, in your own way. It was your unabashed authenticity that astounded kindergarten-him in the first place, and Kaoru was pleased to see that part of you hadn't changed in the slightest.

Kaoru was even more pleased at the thought that he'd be seeing you later that day, at your study date. He would ask all about whether you remembered him, and you would exchange tales of your youth and camaraderie, and everything would be peachy-keen.

\---

Hours later, Kaoru stepped out of the car and onto the sidewalk, taking a deep breath of anticipation. 'L/N Manor' could be read on a placard outside the gates, and the house rested about fifty yards from the street, nestled between two groves of leafy trees. The wind gently blew, eliciting a rustling sound from the tall-trunked plants.

He had decided to play it casual after receiving a loud snort of derision from Hikaru when he initially asked his opinion on his swanky outfit: black slacks, a navy sweater, and stylish white sneakers.

"Tone everything down except the shoes, those look fine." Hikaru said, staring ahead at the open comic he held in his hands, avoiding eye contact from his desk chair.

At Kaoru's silence, the orange-haired boy scoffed at his twin.

"I might disapprove of this whole thing, but I would never let you walk into a girl's house wearing a cable-knit sweater. You look like a damn librarian, that pattern does you no favors."

Kaoru's mouth fell open, not sure whether to laugh or feel offended at his brother's words. He quickly recovered, deciding to simply walk back to his room and change.

As he undressed, he couldn't help but grin. Hikaru certainly wasn't happy with him, but it was nice to know Kaoru wasn't completely dead to him.

He was right, of course, the slacks and sweater were a bit much. They were traded in for a pair of light-wash blue jeans and a red tee, with a white button-up shirt (left open, of course) to complete the look.

Waltzing back down the hall and into Hikaru's room, he found the ginger right where he left him, still pouring over the comic book, and still pointedly looking away from his twin.

"How's this?"

A quick glance to the side. "Better."

Kaoru smiled at his brother, who flushed and scowled at his comic intently.

"Thanks, Hikaru."

"Tch, whatever."

The car ride over to your house allowed just enough time for Kaoru's nerves to escalate from mild flutters to full-blown jitters. And now, here he was, standing out front, taking everything in from the flowering garden to the left of the driveway to the ornate windows of the manor. It all seemed familiar to him, but Kaoru couldn't remember specifics of he and Hikaru's past playdates with you, only snatches of memories were available to him after so many years.

He held onto the straps of his own book-bag, free hand jammed in his jeans pocket. This was really happening.

Taking in another deep breath of fresh air, the younger Hitachiin started down the gravel driveway, which was neat and lined in beautiful, white stones. The scenery appeared even lovelier than before as Kaoru got closer, and he realized the garden he had spotted was full of the prettiest flowers he had ever seen. Perhaps your mother gardened?

Finally reaching the white double-doors that stood tall at the front of the house, Kaoru rapped on the door clearly, squeezing the straps of his bag even tighter than before. Thoughts raced through his mind, fantasies of what might happen while he was there with you.

Would you stay in the living room, perhaps study at the kitchen table? Or...and Kaoru's stomach fluttered at this thought, would the pair of you go up to your room?

He kicked himself internally.

_'You don't have the right to go thinking things like that, she doesn't even remember you'_

And even if you did, Kaoru was certain his teenage, hormone-induced thoughts wouldn't be reflected in your meeting in the slightest.

The opening of one of the front doors interrupted his self-chastising, and he was looking into the face of a middle-aged woman. Lines around her face gave her the appearance of wisdom, but she wore a warm smile. Housekeeper?

"Welcome, Mr. Hitachiin. Y/N's expecting you."

Bowing to her, Kaoru stepped over the threshold and into the foyer of the manor. It was just as clean and lovely on the inside as it was the outside, tasteful decorations placed at varying intervals. High ceilings indicated the existence of at least one more floor, though that was obvious from the outer appearance of the house as well. 

The older woman gestured for him to follow her through a wide doorway, into a large, white kitchen. Orange and yellow accents made it appear bright and inviting, and Kaoru saw you perched on a stool at the marble island in the center of the room, laptop open and face maintaining a look of such concentration that Kaoru almost asked the woman not to interrupt your work.

"Y/N, darling, Mr. Hitachiin's arrived." She said gently, and you looked up from the screen, face pink with surprise.

"Ah, great!"

You slid off the stool, and Kaoru noticed you were wearing a pretty yellow sundress, paired oddly with a pair of fluffy slippers. It almost made Kaoru chuckle at the interesting choice of shoes, but he could respect the importance of comfort in one's own home.

"I've got my textbooks in my room, is it cool if we study up there?" You asked, and he fought back a blush.

"Y-Yeah, of course."

You started up the rather grand staircase, laptop clutched in your hand. Kaoru followed, sidling up the staircase and trying to remain calm. What was he supposed to ask? _'Hey, do you remember me from elementary school? I had a huge crush on you when we were five, and I actually still do, I have ever since, but if you don't feel the same way I completely understand."_

He snapped out of his internal dialogue the moment they reached your doorway. It was obvious it was yours, the "Y/N's room" sign decorated with sunflowers and orange blossoms tipped him off. You nudged open the door, revealing your room to him in its entirety. 

Kaoru stepped in, a feeling of overwhelming nostalgia sweeping over him. He knew this room, though it did appear to have been redecorated. The walls used to be pink, and it looked like a desk replaced the old toy chest; you and he played with the contents on many a playdate, back in grade school.

Your bedroom seemed to have matured, in a way; the white walls, large bed, airy atmosphere - it still was reminiscent of his Y/N, but it was far more refined. The bay window was just as charming as it had ever been, the view of the garden causing Kaoru to smile at the familiarity.

"Nice room." He found himself saying, and you gave him a smile.

"Thanks. Do you want the desk chair or the bed?"

"U-Uh, I'll take the chair."

Nodding, you settled down on the white duvet. You had grabbed your social studies and geometry textbooks while Kaoru was looking around her room. The boy sat down by your desk in the wheely chair, opening his own bookbag to retrieve his notes and pens. It was true Kaoru was no slouch at social studies, he excelled in the humanities subjects significantly. He could write a five-page essay in fifteen minutes on the history of Tokyo, but if given a sheet of math problems to work out, he wouldn't even know where to begin.

"Your mother said geometry was a subject you struggle with?" You said, after a minute of silence. Kaoru nodded, smiling sheepishly and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, it doesn't make much sense to me. All the angles and proofs and degrees, I just don't see the point."

You laughed softly, causing Kaoru to flush.

"What?"

"I can see why you dislike geometry, it's not as abstract as social studies. There's a rhyme and reason to things, if you spot one characteristic of a problem and recognize that it pairs well with a certain type of solution, your problem is practically solved. It's a slew of patterns, really."

Kaoru was listening intently, trying to absorb as much knowledge as possible. You continued, bringing out a blank sheet of paper and a marker.

"Like this."

You then proceeded to slowly walk through the basics of geometry, explaining the vocabulary and how it ties to shapes and planes. You were meticulous, and Kaoru found himself starting to understand how to solve some easy problems. 

_'She's so smart'_ , Kaoru thought to himself, smiling. He'd always respected you for being clever and full of heart, but you teaching him was a nice reminder of just how brainy you were. You were so patient, too, even when he had obvious-seeming questions, you carefully explained everything.

"Does it make more sense now?"

He was ripped out of his pondering by your sweet voice. Glancing at the work you'd written out on the papers in front of them, he found that he did, actually, understand the concepts.

He smiled at the highlighted vocabulary words you'd outlined with arrows and definitions, the spatial organization of it all was very helpful.

"Yeah, it does. You should be a teacher one day, you're really good at it."

"Aha, thanks," you started, biting your lip before continuing, "I've got other plans, though."

Kaoru raised a brow, curious.

"Oh? Like what?"

You paused for a moment.

"I want to be really successful one day, in whatever I decide to do. My parents have worked so hard, I just want to make them proud, really."

Kaoru nodded. That made sense, but...

"As long as you're happy, too. Doing whatever you end up doing." He said, and it came out lamer than he'd imagined. Thankfully, you smiled at him.

"I've never really thought about that, but I suppose you're right. It'd be pretty sucky doing something I hated, regardless of how successful I was at it."

You seemed to think on that for a minute, before changing the subject.

"So is there anything you're still foggy on?" You said, gesturing to the slew of papers in front of them.

"Uhh, yeah. Proofs are still kind of confusing to me." Kaoru admitted sheepishly, glancing around for the paper she'd written notes for that topic on previously. There were so many pages, it was hard to see what was what.

The pair sifted through all the notes, laughing when they realized that the paper pile had spread to the edges of her room. It took a lot of notes and examples for Kaoru to understand math, apparently.

Kaoru spotted a crinkled, slightly smaller paper at the foot of your desk. Picking it up, he scanned it quickly, eyes widening as he realized that it wasn't the lost paper on proofs they were searching for. Black, spiky words were scrawled across it, and they spelled,

**"STAY AWAY"**

The orange-haired boy gasped softly. This...must be note Hikaru had slipped into your bag. He had nearly forgotten about it, overwhelmed by the joy of getting to hang out with his childhood crush. Waves of guilt crashed over him. You had read this and crumpled it up, why hadn't you said anything about it to him? 

"Did you find it? The notes sheet?"

Kaoru's head snapped up to look at you, his guilt suddenly accompanied by a burning anger at his brother, who must have placed the note to scare you off.

It was pathetic that Hikaru felt so strongly about Kaoru spending time with anyone other than himself, though part of him understood. They always had each other as kids, there wasn't a need for anyone else. But that didn't excuse such horrible behavior.

"I...found this, actually. Is this what Hikaru put in your bag last night?"

Your face fell at the sight of the note, and you fidgeted with your fingers, feeling uncomfortable.

"I...yes, it is."

He sighed, his worst fear confirmed.

"I'm sorry about him, he's been really difficult ever since..." Kaoru let himself trail off, face turning pink when he realized he had almost confessed his feelings. He cleared his throat, making eye contact with you once more.

"Anyway, I'll take care of it. He can be a real ass sometimes, but I promise it won't happen again."

You seemed relieved.

"Thanks, I appreciate it...I have to admit, I was pretty put out when I first saw it, I was really scared that you were part of the whole thing."

You really thought he would do something like that to you? His old friend? Kaoru was a little hurt by that, and it evidently appeared on his face, because you backtracked immediately.

"I-I mean, I'm so glad that I was mistaken. I understand why Hikaru would do something like that, but-"

"You do?" Kaoru interrupted, shocked by that answer. Did you guess that Hikaru was jealous because Kaoru had serious feelings for none other than herself? There was no way, but he had to know.

"Well, yeah. Hikaru's always had irrational reactions to things, even as a kid. I remember from elementary school, he was so difficult to play with because of that." You said with a smile, and Kaoru let out a sigh of relief.

Okay, not the same reason, but definitely a valid one. But...if you remembered Hikaru from when they were little, did that mean...

"D-Do you remember me at all from when we were kids?" Kaoru sputtered, losing his cool completely and cursing himself for it. He bit down on his lip to keep himself from shaking as he awaited your response.

This was it, the question he'd been asking himself for years, and it was about to get answered.

You didn't hesitate in the slightest before replying.

"Of course I do!"

He relaxed, and had to fight the urge to punch the air in victory. You remembered him.

"You were a good friend, always playing with me when others wouldn't. I...really appreciated it, and I had a lot of fun too!" 

_'Ah, it was a long shot to assume she had a crush on me back then.'_ Kaoru thought to himself, slightly crestfallen. Still, it was something that you even remembered him at all, and could differentiate him and Hikaru. Other than Haruhi, not a single person on the face of the Earth could do the same.

"So...is it alright if we cover some social studies? We're not having much luck finding that paper on proofs." Your voice broke Kaoru's train of thought, and he blushed at realizing he'd been silent for about a minute.

"S-Sure!"

Kaoru pulled out his notes, smiling to himself.

Maybe next time, he could ask more about how you felt about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a trilogy, but I've decided to make it a longer story! Woohoo! I just have a lot of ideas, and planned on writing more about Kaoru anyway, so might as well put it all in this one :D 
> 
> Stay tuned for updates!


	4. bay window

In the following days, a lot of things changed.

For one, Kaoru began talking to you more often in class, at first just about geometry problems and theorems. 

Once he felt comfortable that you wouldn't completely reject for bringing up more casual topics, Kaoru begun asking you about things like how your day went, what your classes were like, and how your friends were. 

Honestly, you were thrilled that he took such an interest in you, and reciprocated enthusiastically.

Things finally seemed familiar, almost as they were before, when you two played together in elementary school. Kaoru still had yet to ask if you cared about him, the same way he did about you for all those years, but for now, he was satisfied with being on a first-name basis.

Hikaru, on the other hand, still wasn't completely on board with the situation.

But he was getting better.

He was on speaking terms with his brother, and even acknowledged you from time to time in conversation, but he still got prickly when Kaoru would announce he'd be going over to your house.

"Again?" The orange-haired twin said incredulously, rolling his eyes. Kaoru nodded, a dazed smile on his face.

"Yeah, and this time, it's just to hang out!" The boy said happily, to which Hikaru groaned.

"You're there like every other day, and you two haven't officially hung out yet as friends? You guys must really put your noses to the grindstone, huh?"

The younger twin blushed.

"Geometry's hard, okay? And I've been helping her with Social Studies."

"Hn, alright. Well, what are you guys gonna do, anyway?" 

Kaoru paused, not exactly sure what the pair of you would do when he got there. 

"I don't know, talk?"

Hikaru's eyes gleamed, and Kaoru gulped.

"Alright, Kaoru. Have fun _talking_ with her." He said, sending an suggestive wink Kaoru's way. The younger twin flushed, indignant at the implication.

"It's not like that! We're just getting to know each other again, don't be like that!" 

"Jeez, calm down. I was only joking." Hikaru said, turning his back to his brother and continuing to Internet-surf.

Kaoru huffed, saying goodbye to his twin before exiting his room. He'd initially entered so he could get Hikaru's opinion on his outfit: orange hoodie with black skinny jeans and silver jewelry. Hikaru had called him an e-boy, but said it worked for him, which was good enough for Kaoru.

The car swung around the front of the Hitachiin manor, and Kaoru approached, sliding into the backseat and setting his book-bag to the side. He brought it in case you actually did want to go over schoolwork while he was there.

But, really, you'd been getting a lot better with Social Studies, and he a lot better with Geometry. 

Kaoru supposed he had his mother to thank for his friendship with you - he probably wouldn't have been able to rekindle any kind of interaction by himself, having been too anxious to even talk to you in class.

It was crazy to think that just last week, he'd been helplessly pining over you, being all 'woe is me' and pitying himself for the lack of connection. 

Smiling to himself, Kaoru closed his eyes. How nice it was to be able to call you his friend. Even if part of him wanted something more, it was enough to have that every-day "good morning!" exchange.

For now, it was enough. Hikaru might tease him, but Kaoru was prepared to hide his feelings if it meant being closer with you, if it meant making you happy and content.

Feeling the car slow, Kaoru's eyes flew open. Was he here already?

Indeed, he was. That had gone quicker than he expected, he thought as he stepped out of the car, looking upon the L/N manor once more. The garden was just as beautiful as it was last time, and the time before that; and he had confirmed that it was your mother's garden, she tended to it herself and was very proud.

The next minute went by in a blur. From seeing your beautiful face as you greeted him at the door, to walking up the stairs to her room, to settling in and taking his shoes off.

Kaoru supposed it was true that time flew when you were having fun, because one moment, he was laughing with you over some prank he had pulled on Hikaru earlier that year, and the next he was watching the sun set outside your window.

The clouds framed the setting sun, turning bright pink against the orange hues of its lowering rays. The sight blinded Kaoru, and he shifted in his seat, eyes drawing away from the sun in protest.

He relaxed, lounging on the tidy bay window seat. Kaoru couldn't explain how comfortable he felt when he was in your prim bedroom, it just seemed like he was meant to be there.

You were laying on your bed, laughing at a story Kaoru was telling about he and Hikaru's most recent prank on Tamaki. Once you'd stopped laughing, and ceased wiping tears from your eyes, you spoke.

"You know..." You started, a devilish look on your face. Kaoru raised a brow, not used to seeing you like this.

"...I've never been to the Host Club before."

Kaoru grimaced, hoping this wouldn't lead where he thought it would. The last thing he wanted was for you to see he and Hikaru's 'brotherly love' act, it would do nothing but embarrass him.

"Would it be alright if I swung by sometime?" You asked, smiling at him from across the room. The dreaded question.

Kaoru's heart melted at your adorable expression, though, and he knew he couldn't say no.

"O-Of course. Fair warning, though, you might see the infamous Hitachiin brotherly love act when you least expect it. The girls go wild for it." Kaoru said, rubbing the back of his neck and sounding sheepish.

You laughed once more, and it was a lovely, tinkling sound. Kaoru felt his breath hitch in his throat, as he watched your face light up in response to what he said.

Sighing quietly, the ginger-haired boy felt himself sink deeper into his grave.

"I think I'll be alright." You said, giving him a reassuring thumbs-up. 

"If you say so. You might change your mind when you're there." Kaoru said, part of him hoping you wouldn't show up at all.

It was one thing to pretend you boned your brother in front of chicks who you didn't know, but in front of you? Someone he actually respected?

Kaoru looked at the ground, feeling silly.

His eyes were trained on the white carpeting, but a bright color off to the right caused Kaoru to look closer at it, turning his head.

An orange piece of paper, laminated, was sticking out from under your desk.

It was odd he hadn't noticed it before, Kaoru thought to himself, reaching out to pick it up. Your room was quite muted in color, with tasteful whites and greys making up most of the color palette.

Your eyes were focused on the window, too deep in a day-dream to observe Kaoru's behavior. It was only when you heard a gasp from the boy that your gaze flitted over to him, raising an eyebrow.

"What -" You started to ask what happened, and if he was alright, but found yourself unable to speak when you saw the object Kaoru held in his hand. The orange bookmark. 

The younger twin had flipped it over, and upon seeing his name etched in child-like letters of crayon, had gasped rather loudly.

Memories flooded Kaoru's brain, and he was transported suddenly to kindergarten, or was it preschool? Kaoru couldn't say, but he knew it was when he was very young.

He remembered picking out the colors for this, remembered how important it was that he use those colors.

You were by his side, of course, watching him with a smile on your face as Kaoru carefully spelled out his name on the paper. Of course it was orange, Kaoru thought, almost laughing. It had been his favorite color.

Glancing down at his hoodie, Kaoru realized it was still his favorite color. Orange.

"I remember making this." He said, looking up to meet your gaze. You grimaced.

"Ah, yeah. Do you remember giving it to me as a present?" You asked, rubbing the back of your neck. 

"I do." Kaoru said, and it was true. He'd asked the teacher to laminate it, so it wouldn't get crumpled or torn.

He'd even said please, much to the teacher's surprise. It was important that the bookmark be laminated, or else it wouldn't last. 

Kaoru remembered running to the playground, where you were playing with Hikaru, but didn't appear to be having the best time. Hikaru had made you push him on the swingset, but wouldn't get off so you could have your turn.

Huffing to yourself, you looked fed up as Kaoru approached, but brightened at the sight of him, abandoning Hikaru to say hello.

The two of you had ignored Hikaru's angry shout, and Kaoru presented you with the carefully laminated bookmark. 

"It's for you!" He said, beaming. You accepted it, looking it over and grinning.

"Wow, it's your name!" 

Kaoru nodded, proud.

"Thanks, Kaoru!" 

Littler Kaoru hadn't expected Little You to throw your arms around him in a hug.

He'd blushed when you pulled back to observe the bookmark in greater detail, before running off to put it in your backpack. He had watched you go, full of pride and something he couldn't describe. Whatever it was, it was a happy feeling.

Shaking himself back into reality, Kaoru found himself smiling stupidly at the bookmark. You...had kept it.

"I..." 

Kaoru looked up at hearing something, and saw you biting your lip, looking agitated.

"I...I know it's probably weird that I kept it. I swear, I just found it in an old book recently."

Kaoru nodded at your words, understanding but feeling disappointed nonetheless.

Not that he'd expected you to cherish it, put it on a pedestal and keep it in prime condition, he had been a kid when he made it for you.

"It made me think of you when I found it, though." You said, blushing.

That made Kaoru start in surprise, before chastising himself for acting so awkward. Of course you had thought of him, he'd branded his name onto the piece of paper and then given it to you.

There was no way you could have read his name without thinking of him, unless there was another Kaoru he didn't know about.

"Hey, wanna bake some cookies?" 

Kaoru jerked his head up at your words, surprised at the sudden conversation change. Smiling, he relished the idea of baking with you. Kaoru didn't want to admit it, but he'd never actually cooked for himself. 

"Yeah, let's do it!"

He supposed there was a first time for everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a while! I put everything into second-person POV to make writing it easier on me :D 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you enjoy this update!


End file.
